Ode to a fallen warrior

March 28, 2006

Why, oh why, do people shut down their blogs and wipe all traces of themselves out? First it was the great Jivha, and now it's another vocal member of the Indian blogosphere.

For him, here is a farewell song. I apologise in advance to Phil Collins.

(sing to the tune of Phil Collins's Against All Odds)

How can you just walk away from us,
When all we can do is watch you leave
'Cause we’ve shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You’re the only one who knew the poor at all

So take a look at your blog, oh there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind us,
Just the memory of your ways
Ooh take a look at us now, well there’s just an empty space
And you coming back to us is against all odds and that’s what we’ve got to face

I wish we could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see us cry
There’s so much we need to say to you,
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who knew the poor at all

So take a look at your blog, well there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind us, just the memory of your ways
Now take a look at us now, cos there’s just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all we can do and that’s what we’ve got to face
Take a good look at us now, cos we’ll still be standing here
And you coming back to us is against all odds
It’s the chance we’ve gotta take

Take a look at us now...

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New outsourcing opportunity for India

March 12, 2006

(Special to MadMan's Web)

Move over call centres and data processing BPOs. The future of outsourcing belongs to another industry, if Indian Minister for Commerce, Kamal Nath, is to be believed. According to Nath, the next new wave of growth in the Indian economy will come from - believe it or not - the protest industry, now being referred to as SPO - Strong Protest Outsourcing.

Speaking at a news conference in New Delhi, Kamal Nath briefed reporters that he sees major business opportunities in getting Western countries to outsource their protests to India. Nath said, "the outsourcing business is about saving costs and increasing efficiency. Why should people in countries like USA and UK waste their time protesting over various issues? The per-capita income is too high to waste time on being offended. Instead, they can simply outsource this activity to Indian companies." Asked whether Indian companies were globally competitive in this market, Nath confidently added, "Can you think of any country better suited for this business? India is a diverse country with people of many faiths and beliefs. We have a rich history of being offended at every little thing, from western expressions of love like Valentine's Day to what someone names their dogs. I am certain that we can be the dominant player in this market in the next five years."

After the press conference, Kamal Nath granted MadMan's Web an exclusive freewheeling interview in which he talked at length about this new business opportunity, India's competence in this area, and the government's special initiatives to foster growth in the industry.

MadMan's Web: Mr. Nath, thank you for giving us this chance to interview you.

Kamal Nath: My pleasure. This is the Internet age, and blogs are fast becoming a powerful medium of disseminating information.

MW: Mr. Nath, could you please tell us a little more about this new opportunity for India?

KN: The world is far from a peaceful place. Every day, there are protests in Europe and North America over several issues. Part of being democratic countries is allowing people the right to protest against what they think is wrong. But protests also waste productivity. When  people are protesting, they are not contributing to the economy of their nations. So instead of protesting themselves, they can simply outsource their outrage to Indian companies that will specialise in this area. They can then go about their daily lives, confident that their protests are in safe hands.

MW: Why are you so convinced that Indians are the best suited for this activity?

KN: Of course we are the best! First of all, Indians have been offended at pretty much everything over the years. If you've written a book that's even slightly controversial, there are sections that want it banned. If you make a movie that tackles bold themes, you can expect howls of protest about how it's corrupting impressionable young minds. If you wear a female tennis outfit just like everyone else in the tennis world, somebody will be quick to point out how you are no longer a good member of your community. So let me assure you, no matter what the subject of the protest is, we Indians are capable of delivering a strong protest. Our service standards are world-class and globally competitive. When it comes to protesting, we are the epitome of "unity in diversity"! With our wide range of religions, beliefs, and castes, we are champions at being offended and having our sentiments hurt.

Read the full article >>

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Bad infrastructure saves lives: Karnataka Chief Minister

January 7, 2006

(Special to MadMan's Web)

Karnataka Chief Minister Dharam Singh today lashed out at the media for harping incessantly about the poor infrastructure in Bangalore. Singh said that the media should paint a more balanced picture and not stress only the negative aspects of the city.

"If you believe only what you read in the papers, you will think that people are only getting stuck in traffic jams every day. Why does nobody talk about the reasoning behind the our potholed roads?", asked the furious Chief Minister at a press conference today. When asked to explain, Singh said that thanks to the potholed roads and impoverished infrastructure of the capital city, many human lives had been saved. Referring to the recently released statistics that death from road accidents had gone down by 12% from 903 to 791, Singh gave credit to the poor roads and constant traffic jams in city. "You media people should put more value on human lives. Earlier, people used to get hit by speeding vehicles. Thanks to our roads, we have eliminated the possibility of reckless driving. Tell me, how can you hit an innocent pedestrian or another vehicle when you're driving on potholed roads at 20 Km/hour or if you're caught in a traffic jam on Airport Road?", said the CM.

Dharam Singh added that apart from the fewer accidents, inferior roads were also an important part of stimulating the state economy because they generated valuable jobs for the poor. He earnestly requested the middle class and upper-middle class citizens to spare a thought for the numerous labourers and construction workers who made their living from jobs generated by the road repair and maintenance contracts that are being issued every year. "It is easy for the people driving their expensive cars to complain about the state of the roads. I ask these people to put themselves in the shoes of the poor person who works on tarring roads. These people live a hand-to-mouth existence. If there are no roads to repair, how will they feed their families?", asked Singh.

The CM said he would recommend the Bangalore infrastructure model to other states as well. He said that like Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, he too believed in infrastructure reforms "with a human face". "Like it or not, bad infrastructure saves lives", he concluded.

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